Byline: By Brian McIver
THEY don't make sentimental greetings cards for the sort of romantic gesture Brian Middleton made for the love of his life.
And no amount of expensive dinners or red roses could ever come close to matching his gift to wife Sandra.
Because the heroic but shy Scot had no hesitation in risking his own life and good health to help her by donating one of his kidneys.
He didn't need to think twice when he was told he could help her beat the chronic renal condition which was about to leave her on dialysis and even lost three stones in six months on a crash diet so he could make the donation.
Sandra is now enjoying a new lease of life, thanks to the efforts of Brian's kidney, and thinks her loving husband must be one of the most romantic men in Scotland.
The Dundee couple, both fully recovered from their procedures six months ago, are preparing for a Valentine's Day when any talk of pledging each other's heart will pale in comparison.
Factory supervisor Brian, 56, said: ''I don't think I've ever been that romantic I don't go in for flowers and chocolates.
''But Sandra knows what she means to me, and there was never a second of doubt once they talked about a donor.
''I'd be lost without her if anything had happened to her I don't know how I would have coped.
''So I wanted to do it from the first moment it was mentioned and I was just delighted to be in a position to help.''
Sandra, 55, was diagnosed with the kidney condition Reflux Nephropathy 18 years ago, but the situation became more serious five years ago as the organ got progressively worse, and she became one of the 650 Scots in need of a new kidney.
In an attempt to avoid going on debilitating dialysis treatment, they started searching for a potential donor, but with waiting times for kidneys at an average of 500 days per patient, they tested her immediate family for live donor matches.
Although her older brother, Allan, was found to be a perfect match, he was ruled out because of high blood pressure which was when Brian stepped forward.
Although he wasn't an exact match, modern techniques and anti-rejection medication mean that because the kidney was from a living body, the organ would be suitable.
But despite the benefits she would get from the operation, primary school secretary Sandra initially objected because she didn't want to risk his health as well.
''Around five years ago, my condition started to become more serious and they were talking about finding a donor.
''I was becoming more tired and was getting to the stage where I could just about go to work, then come home and have to rest so I'd be ready for the next day.
''It affects your life in so many ways. I became the granny who reads stories rather than running around with the kids it made life very hard.
''Brian was superb and I couldn't have got through it without his support. He doesn't give sympathy but gees me up when I'm down and did all the chores.
''He volunteered to be a donor right away, but I felt a bit funny because you're taking something away from someone else's health to help you, and I was worried in case I ended up okay and he didn't.
''I don't know how I would have reacted to that they do go through all the options and the possible effects, but my husband wouldn't give me a choice about it, although I did feel a bit guilty.''
After all the testing and procedures, doctors agreed, just over a year ago, that Brian could be a live kidney donor for Sandra on one condition, that he go on a diet to get fit enough to survive the op.
Sandra said: ''Brian is generally quite fit, but doctors said they wouldn't do the operation unless he lost some weight.
''He lost three stone in six months, it was incredible he just stopped eating cakes, sweets and chocolates.''
SHORTLY after Brian reached his target weight last June, doctors decided Sandra's condition had deteriorated to the point where she would have to go on dialysis, and she went ahead with the transplant.
Amazingly, the couple ended up in Edinburgh Royal Infirmary at the same time as her younger brother, Norman, who was suffering from the same condition.
Thankfully, no one else in the family has been diagnosed, and tests showed that the couple's daughter Paula, 25, is clear while son Gary, 27, was adopted.
Norman had been found an exact match donor at the last minute and got his transplant three days before Sandra. As Brian added: ''It was bizarre Allan came round to see us on the Sunday to wish us well, within hours he was on his way to the hospital for his own operation.
''He was in the next day and was already recovering by the time we went in.''
When it came to Brian and Sandra's operation, she admits being more than a little upset when she had to wave him off to the operating theatre first.
''Brian went away for the op first and I was very emotional so I'm glad my daughter was with me.
''I remember him saying 'don't worry, Sandra, I'll be fine', before he went, then there was an hour while he was away and you're wondering what's going on and if he's okay it was quite tearful.
''After the op, we were in the high dependency unit. He woke up first but we weren't close enough to hold hands, and Brian had been given an epidural so he had to lie flat while he was recovering.
''His recovery was supposed to have been a lot harder than mine because they actually have to break his ribs to get to the kidney, but he did very well.
''I wasn't in too much pain, but after five days the kidney rejected, which was a shock. They said it was normal but it was traumatic it never feels normal for you.
''I had to stay on steroid drips for around three weeksand it was an emotional time, but thankfully it's all been fine so far.''
The couple are now backing a Scottish Executive campaign to encourage more people to become organ donors and carry donor cards but, most importantly, let their families know their wishes, so they know to sign the release forms which can save lives.
Figures show family refusal rates across Scotland are rising, even against the donor's wishes and the campaign aims to persuade more to take part in the donor system so people like Brian and Sandra don't have to go through such hassles.
Brian said: ''I would urge anyone who is in a position to help to go ahead. The difference it can make to someone's life is incredible and definitely worth it.''
While Sandra added: ''We've been married 35 years after that time you just know he loves you and you don't need to question it. Nothing that happens on Valentine's Day could match what he did for me he's always been my hero.''
To join the organ donor register, call 0845 60 60 400 or look up www.uktransplant.org.uk TRUE LOVE:
CAPTION(S):
MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN:; Sandra and Brian's love has stayed strong since their wedding day 35 years ago, far left, while brother Allan, left, was unable to donate due to high blood pressure so Brian stepped forward; Brave Brian proved how much his wife Sandra meant to him when he donated one of his kidneys
